love is health
The Second Time Around12/26/2020 It is surreal, amusing, and bittersweet to read old posts on this blog from the time of first my mastectomy in 2013, and compare it to my current experience. Although it was just 7 years ago, I feel like a very different person in a completely different body. While a lot has changed, some things remain the same.
I am still filled with gratitude, and healing fast. I am thankful for the ability to shower and shave again, be cozy at home, and be well enough to watch my girls literally tear through Christmas morning with excitement and glee. And as always - I am so lucky to have Luke as my rock and partner. Cancer either makes or breaks a marriage, and after this year I know nothing can rupture us. Luke is my best friend, and the most impressive human I will ever know. This was the hardest year of our life together, and I am taken aback by how he navigated it with grace, authority, and grit. He's a fairly private man, so it's a privilege to witness. My pain is well managed, and I haven't been on prescription pain killers since the day after surgery on the 18th. (I hate how opioids make me feel, so I try and get off them as soon as I can). Although I have some surprising scapular pain, I can already raise my arms above my head, which is an accomplishment for anyone after breast surgery. Much like in 2013, I go for walks to get my blood flowing, and am pining for the time when I can get back to regular exercise. My drive to return to fitness is nothing new. I don't want to give the impression all is sunshine and rainbows. It is not. There are most certainly struggles that come with this mastectomy. But if I'm being totally honest - I'm really tired of focusing on them. I've had a lot to grieve this year, and focusing on the things I'm grieving is exhausting. I just want to get past this moment.
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