love is health
Yesterday I had my 2nd implant exchange surgery. I was mildly nervous pre-surgery, (which, apparently is the worst time to ask the anesthesiologist a laundry list of questions about what general anesthesia does to your brain & body. My curiosity couldn't help it!). After a long, nervous goodbye to my mom and Luke, I was wheeled in, and slid onto the table. The last thing I remembered was Dr. Desvigne holding my hand and telling me "sweet dreams" before I went under. I am glad to report that I am doing quite well, and haven't needed any pain medication at all, not even to sleep well through the night!
I have mentioned before, since being on hormone therapy, I have gained 25 lbs, rendering my chest asymmetrical. My natural breast grew as I grew, while my neo-breast retained the same size - an appendage of a more slender version of me. Padded bras and under-wires can only do so much, and in the fall Dr. Desvigne suggested it was time to do something about it. At the time, I postponed the decision until I knew I couldn't kick the baggage. Although I am happy with my decision, I know asymmetry is something I will always battle. So long as my weight fluctuates, my natural breast will wax and wane, juxtaposed to my neo-breast. Once again, these are the things you lament not knowing going into treatment. Ever present is that aesthetic-minded whisper that I should have removed both of my breasts, if not simply to guarantee optimal symmetry over time. Nevertheless, my overwhelming decisiveness to keep my healthy breast constantly overrides that fleeting voice, aesthetics be damned. You may have taken one of them, but I'll be damned if you took both of them. I win. You lose. My life goes on.
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AboutSnapshots in time across a span of years managing breast cancer Archives
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