love is health
Having done some research when I was first diagnosed, I found it difficult to find information/ blogs/ anecdote of people who successfully balanced roller derby with cancer treatment. Therefore, here are some things I learned in my experience that I hope you find helpful. Its worth noting that everyone's experience with cancer is completely difference. What worked for me may not be appropriate for you. Please consult with your doctor before following any of this advice.
I. If you go through surgery, abide by the doctor's post surgery orders. No activity means no activity. I was advised to take 6 weeks off of all activity after my mastectomy and reconstructive surgeries. Having internal sutures, this was to prevent any of them from tearing, causing internal bleeding. If your doctor says "NO ACTIVITY", listen. Here are some ideas for your post-surgery down time:
II. Ensure your doctors understand the full implications of playing roller derby. Not everyone is familiar with the sport, or the level of activity/ contact involved. You will need to explain your sport and activity to them, and remind them several times of what you do. Be sure your doctors understand the following:
III. Get clearance from your doctors, in writing, when they believe you are ready to return to skating and full contact. This will help your league and teammates welcome you back to the track when the time is ready. IV. Communicate with your team & coaches often.
V. If you go through chemotherapy, this is a list of tips for you.
VI. Have patience. Your derby/ workout schedule won't look pretty. You may have been used to working out and going to practice 3-6 days a week. That will not be your normal during treatment. There will be many times that risk of infection is high, or that you don't have energy, or that you are dealing with side effects. IT'S OKAY. This is normal, and expected. You aren't letting anyone down by not going to practice. However, you will let your body down by working harder than needed. Have patience. The best way to get through your treatment period is by acknowledging your (temporary) limitations. This will help you get through them. This isn't easy, especially for those of us (myself included) who hate to acknowledge weakness.
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I always struggled with follow through. In the 5th grade, I rallied my classmates to create a comic book with me, teaching everyone the proper way to use colored pencils and fill white space. After 2 weeks I abandoned my leadership post, bored with the idea, and frustrated by my classmates' inability to read my mind and do what I "knew was right". The number of tasks I have started and fled from is countless. Wether I lacked focus, discipline, or grit, my struggle for completion is a life theme. I'm not a closer - I'm a creator.
So when I returned to the track last night for my first bout in 6 months - after my mastectomy, breast reconstruction, chemotherapy, a new job, sudden parenthood, and while in the midst of menopause at 30 - I conquered a lifetime of incompletion. I am reminded of this study, citing many women experience personal growth after a cancer diagnosis. However, I didn't return to the track alone. The decision to remain on our travel team and be captain through treatment was difficult. Several times I would call my co-captain Jill in a frenzy, frantic with the belief I couldn't do it - I couldn't come back to my sport, my team, my source of joy, because life had other plans for me. At one point shortly after diagnosis, I had stepped down (for 2 weeks), assuming treatment would overrun my life (which it did), and I wouldn't feel up for skating (which was true at times.) But for some reason I can't quite explain, perhaps madness, maybe stubbornness, I remained committed to my team. Even after my 2 week hiatus, they selected me as their captain for a second term, knowing I'd be going through cancer treatment in the fall. I was, and still am, completely taken aback and humbled by their faith in me. Their belief carried me through treatment, through rehabilitation, and back to the track last night. The unwavering support I have received from my teammates and derby community took me back to the gym, on skates, and leading the team again. I often questioned whether I could continue skating and serving as captain. Last night's victory in Tucson put that to rest. I'm immensely proud of my teammates. Win or lose - their character and integrity remain consistent, supportive, and familial. I say with confidence, without them - without being part of this team, with these teammates, at this time, I would have retired in June and allowed breast cancer to end my skating career. Yet here I am, at the beginning of another travel season, humbly at the helm of this intimate band of inmates. This is all to say: Thank you, Terrors. Without you, I wouldn't have returned to bouting last night. Your faith in me was like an assist through a rough pack. AboutSnapshots in time across a span of years managing breast cancer Archives
June 2020
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