love is health
I'm not a "Cancer Patient"7/20/2013 I don't see myself as a "Breast Cancer Patient". There was a reason why, upon meeting me, my surgeon said "you're too young to be here". BC patients are usually over 50, often advanced in their staging, and not always fit. There has been a real disconnect between my diagnosis and my self perception. My health has been great to me - I feel great. I still work out regularly, aim to attend 3 practices/ week, and otherwise am living/ feeling the exact same life I did prior to diagnosis. So having to see things that remind me I am "sick" is just... annoying? Contrarian? I can't quite put the words to it, but it is most certainly a mis-fit. So when I get pamphlets with illustrations in them of women supposedly sharing my experience, I get frustrated to see women over 50. I also get uncomfortable seeing women going through treatment. Twice in the past week have I seen women in head wraps, protecting their scalps from the unforgiving AZ sun. It was hard to look at them. I wanted to avoid them - I am afraid I will soon be them. Part of me wants to say "I'll be damned if I have to be a "breast cancer patient". The other part of me recognizes that I, as well as others, don't have a choice. That is a tough pill to swallow, especially as I finally approach a treatment plan. I refuse to accept this diagnosis. Accepting it means surrendering to it, and that -ish don't fly with me. This is part of why I have requested silly boob things: Jokes, drawing, songs, images - things that make me laugh at the idea of being a BC patient. This isn't to say I don't take this seriously. This is to say that I'm not the one who is in danger - its the cancer cells that are. Watch out b!#ches, I'm coming at you like a spider monkey.
12 Comments
Face
7/22/2013 03:51:01 am
I love this frickin' blog, it's proof you are going to kick this lame-ass cancer with a flying karate chop (while on skates).
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Maria
7/22/2013 03:04:47 pm
Thanks for sharing, Hface. Now I have to learn more about her and her art!
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Giner
7/22/2013 04:42:38 am
You are awesome! I love your language skills and your ferocity. I hope your blog explodes with popularity.
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Maria
7/22/2013 03:05:42 pm
Awww... Thanks, Giner. I miss your face! Pass on the blog - the more derby people know about health issues, the better!
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Dekher
7/22/2013 07:47:10 am
Lets get chocolate wasted n all jacked up on Mountain Dew...simultaneously! Also...are you wanting pix of my boobs or....that part confused me a bit. Lol. Xoxo
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Maria
7/22/2013 03:07:31 pm
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
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d train
7/23/2013 12:36:55 am
My name is Maria Montoya. You infiltrated my boobies. Prepare to die (bitches). ;)
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d
7/23/2013 12:37:31 am
ps love you!!
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Maria
7/23/2013 09:51:16 am
I love you too! I love seeing pics of you, Owen, and the baby girl from afar. I can't believe she's so big already. Time flies! <3
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jill
7/23/2013 01:04:36 am
I was diagnosed at a young age 32. Heard those same words "to young" and many more,but it didn't matter I was there ready to do what ever I needed to, and not let it define who I am. Surgery, 8 chemo treatments, radiation, in June it was 14 years done. It a road with lots of bumps but one well worth the view at the end. I love your way of looking at this find reason to laugh every day.
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Maria
7/23/2013 09:53:45 am
Jill - that is encouraging to hear. I don't want to let this define me either, hence why I can't stand the idea of being a patient. Even words like "survivor" and "warrior" sound off to me. I think that's why I tend to focus on my sport and athleticism - they mean so much more to me/ my identity than this diagnosis.
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5/30/2016 03:42:33 am
I think this is an informative post and it is very useful and knowledgeable. therefore, I would like to thank you for the efforts you have made in writing this article.
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