love is health
Lordy. It's Saturday? Really? So many things have happened this week, both athletically and health related (as though they are inseparable... hah!) Let me get us all up to speed. Shall we? TEAM USA UPDATE Yesterday, I received this email: Hello Maria! I just about leapt from my seat and jumped for joy. Very quickly, the athletic director of my league and I started figuring out dates and times and logistics to make this work. So, August 7th & 8th during regular AZRD practice hours, I will be trying out for Team USA Roller Derby via video submission. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! If you are in town - I would love your company & cheers those evenings. I love my community and would appreciate your show of support.
TREATMENT UPDATE Tuesday through Thursday this week I spent the days at the Cancer Treatment Centers of America in back to back appointments with every doctor know to man kind. Not exaggerating, I have an Intake Physician, Registered Dietician, Naturopath, Radiation Oncologist, Surgical Oncologist, Medical Oncologist, Reconstructive Surgeon, Medical Social Worker, assigned Pastor (for a secular humanist!), and about 5 nurses on my treatment team. If I could get them all on skates, I would have another derby team ;). They all know I play roller derby, and that treatment will revolve around it. You can only imagine how many times "the girls" got felt up over a period of 3 days! That's a lotta docs! All in all, I am happy to be treated there, as the facility is swanky as heck, and they spoil their clients. I am grateful that I have a job that pays for my insurance, and that this facility is considered within network. I really lucked out. My only complaint was my terrible blood draw experience, that I promise to write about another time, because it was pretty awful. GENES AND PLANS So I finally got news that I am BRCA 1/2 negative, but only after having to race across town on a death wish mission to get the results in time while listening to the Pulp Fiction Soundtrack. That means that I don't have those specific breast cancer genes (though there are about 17 that can contribute to increased risk), which for now, in terms of my treatment, means that I can keep my healthy breast. RIGHTY CAN LIVE! I will need more gene testing in the future to see if I have one of the 16 remaining genes, however these test results take months, and we need to act now. That said, I will be scheduling my mastectomy for some time soon after August 8th. I will be laid up for 1-2 weeks, then able to return to work. 6-8 weeks after my surgery, I will need a second surgery to place my permanent implant. Then it will be rehab, rehab rehab - get back in shape to get back to the track. I have considered using my living room floor as a slide board while I am healing so that my legs don't atrophy. Assuming my unlovely lady lump is not invasive, I will avoid chemo/ radiation. We won't know that until after surgery, but here's to hoping. FEELINGS & THINGS All joking aside, it was a surprisingly draining 3 days. Walking into the Center, I felt like a dog going to the vet. You know... like when your dog hasn't moved for 3 days, so you bring them in, but the moment they are inside the vet clinic they suddenly spring to life like they haven't been peeing their own bed and unable to move? Yeah. I felt kinda like that - like I had to prove that I don't belong there, that I am healthy. I am still very much in denial that any of this is happening, and won't mentally accept it. I just refuse. And I am fine with that. Like I mentioned before, accepting it means accepting defeat. AW HELL NAH. So every day I showed up in athletic wear, as though I was going to practice. I only wore roller derby related shirts, and even brought a gym bag one day in case I had time between appointments to work out (sadly I didn't). I always wore my Brighton skate charm, just to drive the point home how important my sport is to me. Objectively speaking, it's kinda funny to me that my version of machismo/ bravado is to shout "IM NOT SICK I PLAY ROLLER DERBY SEE HOW HEALTHY AND AWESOME I AM? I DO ALL THE THINGS!" 3 days full of frontin' is taxing. By the end of it all, I just wanted to shut my brain off and go play roller derby to relax a little. I am lucky now I can still do that.
1 Comment
Regeana aka Dash
7/28/2013 03:04:03 am
I love your outlook on this, as I've told you before. Stay positive and good things will come. Positive thoughts and prayers your direction always. I'm sure I can speak for the entire league when I say we'll be here for whatever you need. Even if it's to just take a few good hits from you and race around the track with stars on. <3
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