love is health
Pack is Here. Life is now.8/10/2013 This week has been a roller coaster. Or should I say a defensive powerjam?
The blessing/ curse of having cancer (beyond the obvious) is that it forces you to have to slow down and reflect on that which is most important to you. You can't ignore these things for very long before they burrow their way through the pack of life. Like the most tenacious jammers, the Important Things In Life (ITIL) will force life to go where it wants, at the speed it wants, in the direction it wants, until life scatters across the track, causing a pack destruction. My pack is slowly being destroyed, and reformed. And that's okay. It needs to happen. This week I recorded my tryout for Team USA. Objectively speaking, it was not my best lifetime performance. Frankly, I have de-conditioned a bit since my concussion in mid June. Couple that with my inconsistent practice attendance and a splash of stress, and you have an athlete who gave her all, but fell short of shining. While I am not pleased with my performance, I also recognize I have a lot on my plate, have put a great deal of pressure on myself to perform under stressful conditions (stress begets stress), and I gave the very best that I could, all considered. As I would tell any other athlete in a similar situation, "all you can do is the best that you can, and that's that." I am glad I followed through with this goal, and am still very grateful for my community who has supported me in accomplishing it. Team USA or no - I at least got to finish what I started. It was bitter sweet, but I'm glad I did it. On the lighter side, this week my team received news that we are being awarded the Spirit of Phoenix Women's Sports Association (PWSA) Award. This is very significant for us. For those of you following my team, we've been through a lot in the past 12 months: The drama of transfergate, followed by the beatings we took at regionals, followed by the retirement of several veteran teammates, some hard early season losses, injured players, short rosters, division challenges, and fallen rankings. Nonetheless, my determined dreammates and I pressed on, ending our season with a 3 game winning streak, playing with 10-11 skaters, half of whom were new to the team, and rose to veteran-level skill in under 6 months. We became a machine. We worked our a$$es off (no , seriously - I had to buy new pants and have lost 8 lbs) to rebuild our team. I am DAMN proud of us. It sure feels good that our dedication, tenacity, and "just keep skating"/ work hard-play hard attitude is being recognized. Tomorrow, at half time during the Phoenix Mercury's game, we are receiving the Spirit of PWSA Award. I am so very proud. Meanwhile, surgery is looming. I have done my best to remain present in each day and not get caught up mentally chasing my tail in preparation for next week. Right now is the time to be with Luke, be with my team, see my friends & family, and chill out. Remaining present is a remarkably challenging yet much needed task for me. If you see me staring off into the distance or mentally checking out, hit me in the boob. That should bring me back right quick :).
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